Just Breathe

Oh my goodness... I was sitting on the dock on the 4th, hanging out with my family when I realized... I had neglected to update this little doohickey for too long.  I can't even remember my life anymore.  OH!  Right, right, right.  So that crazy director guy DID quit.  Again.  But this time we tried to replace him.  Well that didn't work out too well because we were still running shows.  And besides 'directing,' he was in every show (minus one).  So everyone who was going to take his acting roles walked out because they were freaked out about having to learn the parts in less than a day.  So it turned out that he had to stay for a while and then we slowly replaced him in every role but two.  He doesn't sparkle on stage anymore.  And he screws up a lot more often than he used to.  Sucks for him.

It's now been ten days since I started this post.  And today just happens to be the morning after the opening of....

Marian had been scaring me since day one.  As we approached opening, there were many more things to worry about, costumes, people missing entrances, people not knowing their lines or songs, choreographing, quick changes...  I had so much to worry about I could hardly keep my head wrapped around my own lines and blocking and songs.  So I worried about singing and being heard.  I worried about the 90 degree weather.  I worried about being abandoned on stage when other people forget their lines.  I worried about looking stupid.... it was frightening.  Especially after a horrible horrible dress rehearsal.  So opening night, just a few hours after that final dress, things improved... to a certain degree.  I was abandoned on stage.  Several times.  People forgot their lines.  I had to save the day.  People forgot their entrances.  I had to call for them in character.  The lights came up in the wrong spot.  I had to sing in the dark until I could meander over to where the light was.  I was so sweaty that I hardly made my quick change because I was getting stuck in the long sleeves (plus I think I've lost enough weight from stress that my petticoat hardly even fits anymore) and the zipper kept eating the fabric along the sides and I couldn't do much about it because we were in pitch black because the black light burned out during the performance.  So when I finally made it on stage I was a bit breathless which was not good because one of the most iconic songs of the show was coming up and I couldn't breathe.

But the audience loved it.  They loved me.  When Rory (Hill) and I came out for our bow, they cheered really hard.  And when I had my solo bow, they cheered even harder.  People told me I was beautiful.  That I had a beautiful voice.  A gift.  A wonderful talent.  One man said that I broke his heart and made him cry.  Now hearing some of these complements while standing next to Rory, who has the brightest, strongest tenor voice I've ever heard, is amazing.  I have been so insecure about this role, and so stressed out, and absolutely nauseated the entire week.... It felt pretty good.  Even though I had to cry a little bit after we ended, I survived.

Only nine performances left.  Two of them are today.  It's going to be a long one.  I'm going to review my script and get going on hair and makeup.  Cheers.