I'm Going on an Adventure!

So.... Utah.

I love it.  Working in the costume shop has been tricky - being an assistant designer is hard work.  It's not just the fun stuff that I loved about being a stitcher/technician.  I have lots of pulling and organizing and taking care of things.  It's responsibility in a different way.  I want to do everything right and I want Amanda to be happy that she has me rather than some other random person.  I hope she doesn't regret asking me to be her assistant.  (I mean she probably doesn't, but still - self-doubts.)

Anyway.  We got a long weekend because of Memorial Day today.

Thursday night we had our first bonding session - bowling!  Not everyone came, and it was slightly awkward as it always is when you're trying to be yourself around strangers.  It's an interesting little dance - being yourself, testing out other's personalities, looking for compatibility, trying not to look like you care about how poorly you're bowling...  Well, to be honest, we all pretty much sucked.  I was certainly not the best and most definitely not the worst.  But I had fun even though I threw way too many gutter-balls.

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Oh!  Here's the view from the building in which we work.  We eat lunch together outside on the sidewalk every day and get to look at the sky and the mountains.  There are trees too, which provide shade because the sun is so very powerful.  I thought I had one from our apartment building but I don't.  Anyway...  My room has a window with a tree which is much better than one with another apartment for a view.  It also keeps it cooler in here because there's not too much sun.  It's also just very pretty and green.  (Just a maple tree, but it makes me happy.)

Friday was a potluck in the shop.  I like the way they do potlucks - we basically pick a meal and all bring ingredients and/or fruit and veggies for side dishes.  They apparently do it every Friday which is awesome because it was delicious, but dangerous too because I ate far too much and I want to get down to my healthiest weight this summer (which is about 3-5 lbs less than I currently weigh!)

After work we hit the library and got library cards.  I picked up some new books that I'm excited to read.  They weren't on my list (I didn't have one with me) but I went on the NPR website with a very cool collection of books to peruse.  Click here!  (It's super cool.)  But yes... Books.

That evening, we went to get some locally "famous" ice cream on the nearby campus.  It was delicious and cheap.  Again.... dangerous.  But then we walked around campus as we ate and the sun was setting and it was lovely.  The picture doesn't do the coloring justice.

"C" for Claire.  I win.

Saturday we headed over to a park with an overlook and sketched and read.  It was lovely and killer hot.  I kept moving back and forth from sun to shade, but it was nice just to be outside looking at the mountains.  

Yesterday (Sunday) was the best adventure thus far.  We hiked up to the Wind Caves - the result of some very cool wind erosion.  I thought I was going to die on the way up.  Yes, I am exaggerating, but remember how I felt like I was going to pass out the first four days of being here because of the altitude change?  Well now picture me hiking up a mountain in the hot sun.  Vertigo.  Heart beating like crazy.  I'm only a little bit out of shape - remember I'm a dancer and an actor.  Pretty much athletic.  Anyway, we hiked up and still, with all of my crazy body feelings, I was the only girl in the leading group.  Four boys and me.  I win.

And we're off!

Beginning of the trail.  Pre- sweat.  Pre-vertigo.

View from quarter of the way up.

The trail was kind of slick.
Easy enough to get up, scarier to climb down.
And guess what, I had to focus so hard on not falling off the mountain,
the tickle-y grass didn't even bother me.

Backpack thumbs up!

The worst of it behind us.  This was maybe two thirds of the way up.
It leveled out for longer distances as we wended our way to the top. 

And just look at that view!

And the view you'd see as you fell of the side.

My Utah Face for Day Eight.
I like this photo even though it's a bit strange.
I'm not used to looking at my profile, but it's kind of neat.

And here are the wind caves - much more majestic in person.
The coloring also turned out a little strange.

From inside the caves.
We waited about thirty minutes for the rest of our caravan to show up.
Then people pulled out their snacks and lunches.
I wasn't hungry.  Had an apple.  For supper.
After the fact, I realize on a different day I would have been starving.
I looked it up and altitude sickness/not getting oxygen makes you lose your appetite
because your body wants to focus on getting more oxygen, not digesting.

I could have stayed up there forever,
but after sweating and then sitting on cool rocks out of the sun, I got cold.
Good thing I knew that was going to happen and brought my jacket with me! 

More selfies.  Love the view.

And of course, on the way down, besides trying to keep our footing,
we had rattlesnakes to contend with.  Well, one rattlesnake.
We waited about five minutes for him to cross the path.

Then I did the stupid thing which was to go first.
I was legitimately frightened for my life and couldn't help but run
with a squeal for a sound-effect.
(I'm very good at sound effects.  I learned that in dance.)
Unfortunately, this made him feel threatened and he coiled.
Stupid me.
Then we had to wait another five minutes for him to relax and go on his way again.
Stupid, stupid, stupid me.

Anyway, the rest of the hike down was nice and again, slightly more treacherous than the ascent.

I am sore today from a combination of a Jillian Michaels workout Saturday, the hike yesterday, and another Jillian work out today.  Later this evening we're supposed to have a grill-out to celebrate one of the carpenter's birthday.  He seems like a nice kid.  (He was in our trail blazing group.)

Well.  Cheers.  I have nothing more to say, now that I've told about eight stories...  Nothing insightful.  Just stories.  So, yes.  Cheers.  Here is a picture from hyperboleandahalf again.  Because it's awesome.

Yes.

Utah Face(s)

I am keeping my friends and family on facebook updated about Utah through the use of a daily "selfie" which I am calling "Utah Face."  Thought I'd share the news on here!

Days 1-5

Utah Face!  Day one, hour three?  

HEY!  I AM IN UTAH AND IT IS FREAKING GORGEOUS!

Day two... altitude sickness... feel like I'm drunk.  Can't think.  

Plan to go to bed ASAP (it's 7pm)  Feel like a child.

Utah Face day three. Lack of oxygen is affecting my brain... left my phone in my apron in the shop. Realized this at the door to leave the building. I retrieved it. Left my house/room key in my apron in the shop. Realized this at the apartment. Lovely roommate drove me back to get it.

utah face day four. after 8 hours (mostly alone) in the basement pulling menswear, my pillow and french press came in the mail. i am content, content, content.

Day five... in reaction to the black lady on the phone in the supermarket: 

Hey baby! Do you love me? (long pause) Baby, I need to hear how you feel about me. (long pause) Baby, you tell me that you love me. Right. Now. (pause) I do not care if you are a king, I am your QUEEN. Baby, I can't deal with you right now. I have got to go. (pause.) Okay, baby, love you too.

Oh, Utah.

Also, I was the only person in the store exposing my shoulders. GASP.

Otherwise i feel less like a zombie, especially after Free-Pie-Wednesday last night and coffee this morning! So.... Lego Movie with supper and dollar fifty bowling tonight! Because why not? Cheers. (Utah face! Because my face is in Utah!)

Transitions

I have pictures, news, and worries to share.  In that order.

The pictures however, are not in the right order.  But that's okay.

This one is actually our poster.  Love it.

Awkward family photo.  Our tour car is the best.

I have a shot from each tour day.  Can't put them all up though.

Hairy Man loses his hair thanks to yours truly. 

Wiley

Nightmares

Look, I'm yawning for a photo op!

Here is my costume (upper half)

Yes those are jodhpurs and furry spats.  (And that's a tail)

Hairy Man

Wiley in the tree 

Seth fell asleep despite our no sleeping rule.

Skyline was a thing... Opened, closed.  Got nominated for UWEC's best actress in supporting role.  Absolutely no expectations there.  Also got nominated for the Irene Ryan's which was cool.  Skyline is complicated and I don't feel like explaining it.  These pictures in no way represent the story, but they are the nicest photos that I like the best.  Allooloo, me (Marcia), and Central Park.

Good.  Done.  Next.

I am graduating in about 13 days.  Nuts?  Perhaps.  Is this how I felt when high school was ending? Probably... Am I ready to move into the "real world" where I'm no longer going to be "safe?"  Probably.  Am I going to be just fine but I'm worried anyway?  Yeah.

I talked to my costuming professor/boss whom I will be accompanying to Utah.  She said, 

      “There’s going to be some time in your life, during graduate school, or a new job, or a career or something, that you’re going to say, ‘I’m not smart enough, I shouldn’t be here.’ Or, ‘I’m not talented enough, I shouldn’t be here.’  I think that all of us feel that way.  Whatever it is you’re doing, it’s not familiar, it’s not regimented, it’s not safe.  And you’re not going to have that anymore.  And you’ll feel those overwhelming feelings or failure, of anxiety, and just like in college, you just have to put one foot in front of the other.  It’s going to suck for a while,  Every new things suck for a while, but sometimes you have to push yourself outside of those boundaries and pretty soon, you’ll find that new thing will become the familiar.  It’s like running a marathon, but even so, you have to keep raising the bar for yourself to be a better person.”

I know this because I recorded it for a paper I had to write from an interview....  The point is.  A lot of times I imagine my future as a big, solid cube in front of me.  And it's hurtling at me with such force that I feel like I'm about to be run over and so my natural instinct is to want to run away and hide.  But, since I don't know what's in this big solid, block, I'm curious.  And I already know that if I don't add a little bit of confidence and ambition into that twinge of curiosity, I will be run over.

Here's the rub....  I want to go everywhere.  I want to do everything.  I want to be brilliant.  I have all the reasons in the world to be successful - I just have to do what Amanda said.  Run the marathon a step at a time.

More news.

I have a friend who is more than a friend.  But I don't know what to call him.  I want to spend time with him and I don't because I'm leaving.  I want to be with him, but I don't want to feel like I don't want to be without him.  Decisions, decisions.  I want a relationship - we are dating, that's the only thing to call it.  Labels are silly, but they are helpful.  But they're not because they mean different things to different people.  Advice I've gotten about this is the same as Amanda's.  Take it one day at a time.  Even an hour at a time.  Do I want to be with him now.  Yes or no.  This is the thing, I love doing what I want.  I've always been that way.  And lots of times, what I want is to be by myself doing my own thing.  Like shopping.  I went shopping yesterday by myself because I wanted to.  And it was great!  And people judge me, assuming I have no friends because I am alone.  I'm sick of caring what people think.  It's a hard thing to do, to not care, but I'm trying to train myself.  

This is turning into a very long post, but I did miss documenting an entire month of my life on here at least....

I don't understand how anyone can think without writing.

I am designing lights for Talley's Folly in case you care.  Which you probably don't.  But I do.  So, HA.

There is a novel growing inside me.

The time is coming to write it down.  There's too much there, to stay quite.

Cheers.